Reflection

Today I found myself thinking a lot about change. So much has changed for us over the past few years. Moving several times, new jobs, new chapters of our life, new baby. It has been a journey of hills and valleys. From being homeless to finding a new job to owning our first home to miscarrying a baby, to getting pregnant again, to losing our jobs and losing our home, losing a business and starting a new one then finding a new place to live. The ups and downs have been unreal, yet when I reflect on it, I'm not sad about the loss. I gained so much more. I found my own self worth, my value. I was forced to remind myself of what really matters. I met wonderful new people. I allowed myself to finally just relax and accept the love that Daniel's family offered myself and my children in place of what I hoped my own family would give but didn't. I stopped preparing myself for the worst and started accepting that things would be better. I gained a new perspective. I let go. I started believing in the good in this world again. It may not be shown as often as the bad, but it's out there if you look for it and want to be part of it. I am giving thanks today. Even though we are balancing on the edge and are not sure which way we will fall, I pray that I just move forward with my head held high and the faith that the Lord is with me wherever I go.

 As I think about things, I question how I will respond to new issues. When I come to the precipice and I gaze over into the water, what reflection will I see? Will my light reflect in the turbulent waters or will I allow it to be broken apart by the forces that want so badly to break it down?

 I know this much, I am blessed. Blessed with love and family and a kind heart. Blessed with the desire to always be better. Blessed with the gift of knowing that I am never alone in this world. Blessed with children who love me and an opportunity to teach them to be the kind of people that make a difference. Blessed to be part of great friends doing amazing things. Blessed to be part of helping families adopt children who are praying for a mommy and daddy to love them. Seeing change in the world inspires me to want to do more. I don't just want to move mountains, I want to build a village for the people that live in its foothills. Now I am blessed to know today that even though I'm small, I can make that happen.

I can see my true reflection....even in the turbulent water and that is worth more than anything we've lost.